I have been trying to keep myself busy the past few days so that I don't get caught up with the thoughts of hospital and surgery, which just so happens to be tomorrow. I cannot believe how quick it seems to have come around.
I've really struggled with sleep the past few days, and each night I go to bed so tired and lethargic, but just don't seem to be able to sleep. Its a mixture of pain, discomfort and worry. To be honest, as much as I am dreading the anesthetic, at least I'll get a good couple of hours sleep.
I have tidied and cleaned the house over and over again, because it feels like the only thing I'm in control of . It stops me thinking about Wednesday. In fact, I don't think our house has looked this tidy since the day we moved in 2 and a half years ago and it was empty!
I'm worrying about loads of things about Wednesday -
First off the anesthetic. I hope they give me enough so I can't feel anything, but then again, I hope they don't give me too much. Its hardly natural having the power to knock someone out with one tiny needle.
Secondly I worry about the diagnosis. Is it or isn't it? This has been going around and around in my head for so long now and I just need an answer, but at the same time I'm scared to hear the answer. If this is Endometriosis, then this is a chronic illness that could affect me for many years to come, and if it's not, then what on earth is it? I'm trying to work out which is the lesser of two evils.
Thirdly, I worry about the recovery. My pain threshold isn't exactly high, and speaking to others who have been through this surgery, the first couple of days after surgery are not nice at all. I have bought in loads of cans of fizzy - thanks to people's advice!
However, all that said and done, I am really looking forward to returning to reality. I have let so many people down these past few months, having to pull out of things last minute. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful, understanding friends and family. I am also really grateful to the community of girls I have met through Twitter. I never really understood the whole fascination with it, until now. I have been able to talk to other girls in my position, and have been able to get advice and support from them too. So a massive thank you to my friends, family, and endo girls - I love you all tons!
Tonight a few of my friends are taking me to the cinema - that should definitely keep my mind off of everything. Then its an early night for me, and hopefully a good night sleep. I am due on the ward tomorrow at 7.30am and even typing that made my stomach turn. ARGH!
Thanks again for taking the time to read this, I will post an update later on this week.
First and foremost, do not drink anything fizzy after your laparoscopy!! You will feel like a balloon from all the gas inside you so the last thing you need is more gas! The best thing to drink is hot tea, preferably peppermint, but any will do. Also, try and get someone to massage and pat your back as well as rubbing anywhere that hurts from the gas - this will get the gases moving and get them out of your body. Recovery usually takes 1-2 weeks and it's horrible but you get through it. Just make sure you take it easy and rest lots. I hope you get your diagnosis. Personally, I think not knowing is worse than knowing, at least then you can start treatment, which doesn't always involve surgery. You may, respond to hormone treatments or a more natural course of alternative medicine. At the moment, just try and relax until you know what the problem is and then make sure you talk to your specialist thoroughly. It may not be endometriosis and if it is then it's not always the worst case. Some women are left unable to concieve because of it - others aren't. Some women (like myself) never respond to any treatments - whereas some women respond to the simplest of treatments. You never know, you might be one of the lucky few. Keep us updated on Twitter (@emlwy) and I hope it's good news. Here if you need a chat. xx
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How did your Surgery go? Wishing you the best!
ReplyDeletexoHeather @helloendoblog